|A whole field of ponies. Or pony. You decide.|
- Adam "Corblimey" Corbally
- Gabrielle Omar
- Jade Nash
- Nick "The Fop" Holzherr
- Ricky "No, Not That One" Martin
- Stephen "Alien" Brady
- Tom "Bumfluff" Gearing
Gabrielle Omar has mostly stayed neatly under the radar so far, apart from a rather lovely boardroom row with the frankly bonkers Bilyana. An architect with experience of working in a fish and chip shop, she's flattered street artists almost to the point of spaffing (quick, fetch a canvas, you'll sell it for a fortune!) and done a fine line in glass/rose logo design. But is she too quiet to win T'Apprentice?
Jade Nash is an ex 18-30 holiday rep with a penchant for drag racing. A terrible project manager, she is seemingly incapable of making a decision, leaving her wide open to criticism from Lord Sugar. However, he can't quite decide whether he likes her or not (oh, the irony), meaning she's squeaked into the final seven by the skin of her teeth.
Nick Holzherr will win if he doesn't make a colossal fuck-up between now and the end of the show. Popular with the other candidates, foppish, he's been an entrepreneur since he sold lost golf balls back to golfers at the age of nine.
Ricky Martin (no, not that one) models himself on the aforementioned Stuart Baggs. He's cumbersomely proportioned by comparison with his famous namesake and does a lot more talking about learning from his mistakes than learning from them.
Stephen Brady is an alien-faced eel of a man, slippery, quick to point the finger of blame at everyone else, full of ideas that are really just words he's randomly spewing. If he makes it past the next task, I'm booking my next holiday to his home planet, Planet Dickweasel.
Tom Gearing reminds me of a pastier Stewart Lee, without the humour. He has a fledgling moustache and is a wine entrepreneur who also knows his street art. But did he impress Lord Sugar by simply getting pissed on the wine branding task?
What we have to remember as we watch this is that Lord Sugar has seen all of their business plans. He must surely have a fair idea of who he wants to go into business with. But we will all willingly suspend our disbelief until after the last task, when whichever of these seven hopefuls (please, not Stephen, I've just remembered my passport has expired) wins the £250k business deal will disappear instantly from the public eye.
And I, for one, won't miss them.